|
"Don't
let the past create the future, let the future erase the past."
"Be
who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."
"Be
careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words.
Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions.
Be
careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits.
Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character.
Be
careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny."
"When
I do right, no one ever remembers. When I do wrong, no one ever forgets."
"I
used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next".
Well they stopped doin that crap when I started to do it to them at funerals." ( Just Kidden)
"I
am not currently available right now. However, if you would like to be transfered to another correspondent, please press the
number that best fits your personality:
-If you are obsessive compulsive, please press "1" repeatedly.
-If you are codependant,
please ask someone to press "2".
-If you have multiple personalitites, please press "3", "4", and "5".
-If you are paranoid
delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace your call.
-If you are schizophrenic,
listen carefully and the little voice will tell you which number to press.
-If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter
what number you press, no one will answer."
"Birthdays
are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest!"
"If
90% of the people in the world dont have it, why do they call it COMMON sense?"
"You
are more likely to be attacked by a donkey than be bitten by a shark."
"Every
year, about 6,500 Americans are injured by their toilet seats."
"Remember
that life isn't about the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away."
"When
you were born you were crying and everyone around you was smiling ;make it through life so that when you die you will be smiling
and everyone around you will be crying."
"Friends
are like elevator buttons, they can either take you up or bring you down, choose wisely."
"Some
people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay for a while and leave footprints in our hearts and we are never, ever,
the same. "
"Having
a smoking section in eating areas is like having a peeing area in a pool."
"To
the world you're maybe one person but to one person you maybe the world. Always rememeber you're loved; never forget someone
always cares."
"We
should all take a lesson from crayons, I mean come on. There are many different kinds some are beautiful some are plain and
some have weird names, but they all have to learn to live in the same box, so why cant we all learn to live in the same world.
"
"Only
in america can you get a pizza to your doorstep faster than an ambulance."
|
